


to breathe

by thatlittletentofblue



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, M/M, POV Outsider, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-23 06:10:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18148121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatlittletentofblue/pseuds/thatlittletentofblue
Summary: With his first and third foster sons living their own lives, Tiedoll celebrated his 50th birthday alone in the Cotswolds, expecting to paint the days away. What he didn't expect was to be reunited with his long-lost second foster son and his son's lover.





	to breathe

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** OOCness, English is not my first language, inconsistent tenses, not beta'd
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** No copyright infringement intended.
> 
>  **A/N:** This is OOC. I just wanted some Yullen fluff. Please don't hurt me.
> 
>  **Update 05-16-2019:** Did some minor edits, may do edits again in the near future

Froi Tiedoll chose a booth by the window which overlooked the inn's lush garden and mill pond. It was a relaxing scenery to sketch on the morning of his 50th birthday, and he couldn't wait to explore the town in search of more relaxing sceneries. Surely the locals would know of such places.

"Refill, sir?" Lenalee, asked. She wore a bright smile, a smile as bright as the sun shining outside. The shafts of light penetrating the windows gave her short, dark hair a green sheen.

"Of course. Thank you, Lenalee," Tiedoll said, pushing his cup of coffee towards her.

Yesterday afternoon, when he arrived at this cottage-style inn, the owner, Jerry, greeted him, along with the inn's general manager, Lenalee. Their reception made him feel as warm and cosy as the English countryside, and the food served to him during dinner was divine. Jerry was an exceptional cook, and the desserts Lenalee gave him made him wish that he weren't an old man watching his health. He turned in early that night, the exhaustion from the train ride from France to the UK settling in.

He spent yesterday milling around the inn and sketching the garden and the pond. He went to the nearby shops and inspected their wares and befriended their owners. He hadn't had the time yet to look for the perfect scenery to paint, and that was what he would be doing today.

"How are you enjoying your stay so far?" said Lenalee. Even though she was the inn's manager and Jerry's unofficial sous-chef, she still took the time to serve their guests in the dining room.

"More than good, I must say. I could see myself retiring here."

Lenalee chuckled. "I shall look forward to seeing you every day then, sir," she said, and then moved on to serve the other guests.

Tiedoll wanted to spend his birthday painting and sketching in a tranquil environment, and this inn that an old colleague recommended to him was the best place for that. Today, on his very birthday, he will go out armed with a canvass, easel, and oils, and search for the most wonderful sight his eyes could feast upon.

When Lenalee passed by him, he caught her attention and asked, "Excuse me, Lenalee. Do you know of nearby places that I could paint? Not that the garden here is not beautiful, but I wanted to paint as much sceneries as I could."

When they exchanged pleasantries yesterday, Tiedoll mentioned that he was in the Cotswolds for a holiday and that it was in fact his birthday week, and he wanted to spend it painting new environment. Southern France is a piece of paradise on earth, but he wanted to fill his sketchpad with new subjects.

"Well, there's always—" Lenalee eyed the sketchpad on his table and gasped. "Oh my! Sir, that is so beautiful! You must let Jerry buy it and display it here!"

Tiedoll blushed. He could never get used to people complimenting his works. "I'd give it for free, but you must let me finish it first."

"Oh no, we couldn't—"

"Please, it will be my way of saying thank you for your hospitality. I feel like this place is _the_ microcosm of the Cotswolds."

She beamed. "Thank you very much, sir. And regarding you enquiry… Well, we have The Garden a kilometre's walk from here. Or if you prefer, I can ask someone to give you a ride."

"No, thank you, an old man like me could use the walk. Now, what can you tell me about this garden?"

 

==

 

It wasn't a garden or even the garden; it was The Garden. It didn't have an official name so the locals simply called it The Garden. The walk from the inn to The Garden revealed all of the town's bucolic glory, with quaint shops, friendly locals, and trees and flower bushes lining the streets and the occasional livestock passing by. The Garden, in comparison to the town's idyllic rustic lifestyle, was like a placed lifted straight out of a fairy tale.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" a young man asked. He had a green bandana which kept his red hair back and wore an eye patch over his right eye.

 _Beautiful_ is an understatement. Tiedoll wanted to take his easel out immediately, but he left it at the inn in the hopes of coming back to it once he found "the one view." But he only had his sketchpad and various drawing implements with him, so those were what he would be using later.

"An absolute heaven. It's like I'm taking a stroll in the Garden of Eden," Tiedoll answered and the other man chuckled in response.

"Lavi Bookman," the man said, extending his hand. "Call me Lavi."

Tiedoll shook it. "Froi Tiedoll. You wouldn't happen to be related to the owner of the Bookman Library?"

"Actually, he's my gramps. I take it you visited the shop already?"

Tiedoll nodded. "I'm staying at Jerry's and the bookstore was just around the block."

"I see," Lavi said. "I hope he didn't give you much of a hard time."

Tiedoll chuckled. "No, no, not at all. Mr Bookman had been most helpful in recommending art books to me."

"You know, it's funny. The owner of this garden once mentioned that he might call this Eden. But of course, everyone called this The Garden, and the name stuck."

"Owner? This isn't public property?" Tiedoll said, horrified at the thought of trespassing into private property. But Lenalee didn't mention anything about it, so maybe…

"Yep, this is private property, but it's open to the public at no cost."

Tiedoll breathed a sigh of relief. He looked around and took in the multitudes of flowers blooming, the trees offering shade, and the hedges lining the paths. He could see a modest-sized lawn farther down, and children played with the birds visiting the fountain. An elderly couple sat on a bench, another artist was painting in a gazebo, and near them, a gardener was pruning some bushes. It was hard to think that spring ever left this place. "I could imagine a wedding taking place in here."

Lavi blushed and gave a sheepish smile. "Err… Actually… this is where I got married."

"…Oh. Oh!"

Lavi chuckled. "Yeah, we got married here two years ago. You might know my wife. She works at Jerry's. Her name is Lenalee."

Tiedoll's eyes widened. "Oh! So you're her husband!"

Lavi rubbed the back of his neck.

"Your wife is a lovely woman."

"She is. In fact, I'm going to the inn to see her, so if you'll excuse me."

"Of course. It was nice meeting you, Lavi."

"You too, Mr Tiedoll!" Lavi said, and then he walked away.

Tiedoll strolled around The Garden. It was a magnificent place, on par with gardens he only saw in estates and palaces. He could see himself as an older man living in a cottage down by road and coming up here for a daily walk. He would laugh as children run past him, and he'll pat their heads and give them candies.

He never married but he had three foster sons. The first one, Marie, was living in Germany with his wife Miranda. His third son, Daisya, was in Brazil, working hard to be a professional football player. Daisya wasn't the type to settle down soon, but he could count on Marie to give him a grandchild.

As for his second foster son... Tiedoll sighed. It was his birthday for god's sake. It wouldn't do him well to think of sad thoughts. He was in a garden where faeries most likely lived. It wasn't a place for gloomy thoughts; the greeneries may suck in his negativity and wilt.

Spotting an empty bench, Tiedoll sat down and took his sketchpad out. At the centre, he drew the fountain and the birds bathing in it, while the trees and bushes served as a backdrop. He drew the children frolicking in the water, and it made his heart ache a little bit. His children never got along that well, and he wondered if it was his fault that made Yuu, his second son, to run away.

It had been ten years since Yuu left home and Tiedoll had no idea where he was now. As a retired general, he could have used his connections to locate him, but Yuu was always angry with the world, and Tiedoll had no doubt that Yuu will get angrier had Tiedoll found him. He was so volatile, so full of rage that no amount of love Tiedoll gave him softened his heart.

"Oh, that's beautiful," he heard a voice say behind him.

Tiedoll looked up. Behind him was a young white-haired man. He had a strange… mark—or was that a tattoo?—on the left side of his face, and he wore a huge straw hat to combat the sunrays.

It was strange, Tiedoll thought, for a young man to dye his hair white. But who was he to judge? Marie was blind and couldn't care less about appearances. Daisya was always putting long, V-shaped purple marks under his eyes. And his Yuu had long hair.

"I-I'm sorry," the white-haired man said. "I didn't mean to disturb you."

"No, I'm the one who should be apologising," Tiedoll said. "I didn't mean to stare."

The man laughed. "I'm used to it. I have natural white hair, a weird scar on my face, and a red arm." He rolled his sleeves up and revealed a red hand that held pruning shears. Was he the gardener that he saw earlier? "Thankfully I've been living in this town for a long time and the residents have gotten used to it. Anyway, if you want, there's another gazebo on the other side of The Garden, so you could sketch in there if you'd like."

"I'd love that. Perhaps I'll bring my easel this afternoon, if that's all right with you."

"I can ask someone to assist you. I won't be here this afternoon because my…" the man said, and there was a small, shy smile on his lips and a soft look on his face that Tiedoll couldn't quite put a finger on. "The owner of The Garden, he'll be coming home, and I'm going to fetch him from the station."

He'd seen that look before. He saw it earlier when Lavi talked about Lenalee. He saw it when Marie talked about Miranda. Tiedoll now had a name for that look, and he smiled, his earlier longing for his runaway son dissipating after being surrounded by young people in love. "There's no need to assist me, but thank you anyway, mister…"

"Allen. Allen Walker. Please just call me Allen," the man said, offering his hand.

"I'm Froi. Froi Tiedoll," he replied. He was about to shake Allen's offered hand when he saw it going limp, and when he looked up, Allen's mouth was slightly agape but his grey eyes were wide open.

"Froi… Tiedoll?"

 

==

 

The window above the sink gave a view of a fruit and vegetable garden with produce ready to be plucked. It was likely that the peaches on the fruit bowl were harvested from the tree outside.

Earlier, Allen placed a cup of tea in front of him with shaking hands, and when it spilled, he apologised. Tiedoll assured him that it was no problem at all, that he should be the one apologising for imposing on their home— _their home_ , because they lived together, not in just a house but a home. A home that they made their very own with a garden, a dozing golden retriever, and picture frames lining up the walls.

Tiedoll placed a hand on Allen's trembling arm then, and the young man stilled.

"I don't know why I'm shaking," he said.

Tiedoll gave him a smile that said that he knew why. The only reason why Tiedoll wasn't shaking at all was because realisation hadn't quite dawned upon him yet.

Now, he got up and inspected the photos. He was alone in the house and Allen told him to make himself at home; he'll be going to the station to—

Tiedoll sank down to the floor, a hand clutching his chest. Maybe the reason why didn't tremble earlier was because he didn't want to weep in front of someone he didn't know. He removed his eyeglasses and wiped the tears away from his eyes. He stifled his cries with a mouth to his hand and allowed himself to cry, his shoulders shaking with each muffled sob. The realisation that he was about to reunite with his son whom he haven't seen in ten years finally hit him, and he couldn't control the tremors wracking his body.

When Tiedoll said his name, Allen's eyes bugged out, and when Allen said who he was, Tiedoll felt his eyes doing the same.

 _You're his father, aren't you?_ Allen had said. _You're Kanda's father. I'm his… I'm Kanda's…_

He had long since given up hope on finding out the whereabouts of his second son. Yuu Kanda—that was his full name; none of his sons took his surname—was here in the Cotswolds. Tiedoll found him when he wasn't even actively searching for him anymore.

He got up and wiped the remaining tears on his face. He looked at one photo on the wall, one of his son and his friends. Yuu still sported long hair and still had it ponytailed. He had that familiar scowl, those familiar narrowed eyes that refused to look at the camera. He never let Tiedoll take photos of him or paint him, and Tiedoll had to do both furtively.

In the picture, Yuu was scowling, not looking at the camera, and had his arms crossed, while his friends—apparently, he was friends with Lavi and Lenalee—were on either side of him, grinning at the camera. He had a party hat on, and Tiedoll guessed that it must have been his birthday.

He looked at another picture, one that was surely taken in secret, because Yuu was _smiling_. He never smiled—he smirked, he grinned menacingly, but he never smiled. His son was smiling as he looked at Allen, who was looking at the camera whilst wearing a Santa hat, unaware of the gentle smile on Yuu's lips.

Tiedoll had only seen that expression on his son's face a handful of times, and he only ever directed it to their neighbour Alma. Yuu disappeared a few months after Alma died. Tiedoll suspected that Alma's death had been part of the reason why he left, but he never really knew why. He had countless speculations, and a few minutes from now, he'll have the chance to ask his son why.

In those years after he left, Tiedoll didn't even know if Yuu was still alive. If he was, he certainly didn't want to be found, and no matter how much his heart broke, Tiedoll wanted his son to be happy. He felt that Yuu was never happy in their house especially after Alma's death. This time at least, Yuu looked happy, and that wasn't only evidenced by the photos on the walls; he could see it in the shoe cabinet by the door, by the empty peg on the coat rack, and by the worn grooves on the couch. He could see it in every piece of furniture in this house that his son made his home, in the trees and bushes that he planted with his hands, in the eyes of Allen Walker as he talked about him.

His son was happy. He wasn't able to make him happy, but Tiedoll was glad that someone was able to.

 

==

 

Tiedoll was sitting on a dining chair when he heard the door open. He had his back to door so he couldn't see who entered, but a familiar voice that was deeper than he remembered gave it away.

"…sure you're all right? You've been jittery since the station," his son said. There was his son who ran away from their house right behind him, his son whom he hasn't seen in ten years.

He heard the dog bark. He heard Allen say, "Well, actually…"

He heard his son answer, "What? What have you been hiding? If you're—"

When Yuu's statement was abruptly cut off and only the dog's barks permeated that silence that followed, Tiedoll knew that he'd been seen.

"Who's that?" Yuu asked in genuine but apprehensive wonder. Maybe he forgot how his foster father's back looked.

Tiedoll stood up and, with heart thumping wildly, turned around. "Good afternoon, Yuu," he said. "It's been ten years, isn't it?"

Tiedoll was vaguely amused by how quick emotions crossed his son's face. There was the initial surprise, then disbelief, then rage, and finally, resignation.

"What are you doing here?" Yuu asked. Tiedoll was bewildered by the lack of venom in his voice. It was like he wasn't angry at all that he was intruding on their home, like the last ten years never happened.

"I…" he said. He had ten years to think of what to say if he ever saw his son again, but now that he was standing in front of him, he suddenly couldn't find the words.

"He's staying at Jerry's," Allen said, giving Yuu's arm a squeeze. Tiedoll thought that he must have done it as if he was pacifying an agitated animal, but Yuu wasn't agitated, and the squeeze looked like it was meant to be more comforting than pacifying. "He was in The Garden this morning, then he introduced himself, and, well, you know… Now we're here."

The two stared at each other, exchanging an entire conversation in a single look in a way that only people who have been together a long time could. He had never seen his son so in tune with anyone, not even Alma. Then again, he didn't really have a lot of people to compare with; his son was as social as a stone.

Allen gave Yuu's arm another squeeze and said, "I'll leave you two alone. I'll be at The Garden if you need me."

"Hey," Yuu said, catching Allen's hand as he walked away, then added in a soft voice that Tiedoll strained his ears to hear, "You should stay."

Allen shook his head. "Kanda, you need to talk to your father alone." He glanced at Tiedoll with unsure eyes as if he was about to commit a crime and then gave Yuu a quick kiss on his cheek. "You know where to find me. Come now, Tim."

The dog—Tim, presumably—yipped, and then the door closed and Tiedoll was left alone with his son. Suddenly he found it hard to breathe.

Yuu placed his coat on the empty peg in the coat rack, deposited his shoes in the shoe cabinet, and changed into a pair of indoor slippers.

"Sit down," he said as he placed the box he'd been carrying inside the fridge.

He didn't sit down. Instead, he rushed into his son and enveloped him in a tight hug.

"Yuu!" he exclaimed, and he felt tears leaking out of his eyes again. "Yuu!"

"Stop calling me that," his son said. He was stiffer than a board.

Tiedoll, despite his tears, chuckled. Yuu _hated_ being called by his first name. He always went by his surname Kanda, and the only person to call him Yuu besides him was Alma.

Which reminds him…

"Allen calls you Kanda," he said. "Why would he call you by your surname when you two are…"

Yuu grimaced as an angry blush covered his cheeks. He shook Tiedoll away and said, "You know how much I hate being called by my first name. Now sit down, or do you want to have this conversation while standing up?"

"Oh? So you're willing to have conversations now?" Yuu disliked anything having to do with feelings, and Tiedoll chortled at his son's willingness to talk.

"I'm not, but he wouldn't let me hear the end of it if I don't talk to you."

"He? Oh, you mean Allen."

Yuu's answer was to look away as his cheeks became even redder. "So? What are you doing here? Did you track me down?"

"I stopped attempting to locate you after the first year you disappeared. And I came to the Cotswolds because an old colleague recommended Jerry's inn to me. I came to The Garden because Lenalee told me that it was good place to paint."

"So you've met Lenalee, huh?"

"And Lavi too. And now that I think about it," Tiedoll said, smirking, "he said the owner of The Garden wanted to call it Eden once."

Yuu scowled. Tiedoll might have mentioned to his kids that he thought of his art materials as makers of Eden. "That was just a thought in passing. Eventually thinking of a name for a garden became too troublesome."

Tiedoll smiled. "I am very proud of you, Yuu."

"Don't call me that."

"In our house, you only tolerated Marie and never got along with Daisya. You only real friend was Alma, and when he died…"

Tiedoll expected the silence that followed to be suffocating. When Alma died, Yuu locked himself up in his room and no one got a word out of him. All attempts to make him talk were met with a glare and/or a snarl. Not even Marie, whom he suspected was Yuu's favourite brother, could get through to him.

But the silence that followed didn't suffocate him. It wasn't the calm before the storm. It was just silence—calm silence with no malice. Even his question earlier about what Tiedoll was doing in the Cotswolds wasn't laced with malice. He wondered if the last ten years had chipped away some of his son's anger.

"Alma…" Yuu said, standing up. He stared out the window which overlooked their fruit and vegetable garden. "I'm not angry at you or anything. Specifically, I'm angry at everyone and everything. Angry at the parents who abandoned me. Angry at the fact that I was abandoned. Angry that you were trying to so hard to make me open up. I hate this world and it was so hard to breathe, but Alma made breathing easier. So when I lost him, I…"

Yuu looked at him. "I've had a lot of time to think about things over the past ten years. You should know that I'm grateful that you took me in. I was young and hotheaded, and authority figures all around me were telling me what to do. When Alma died, I was all but shoved inside a shrink's office. It became hard to breathe again and I couldn't deal with that environment anymore, especially with all those adults looming over me."

The hard edges in Yuu's features were replaced by a soft, faraway look. "I went to a lot of places, did a lot of things, worked a lot of odd jobs. And then I met him. I still hate this world and it's still hard to breathe, but he made me want to breathe even if it was hard. I want to breathe even if I'm wheezing." He looked through the window again, his back facing Tiedoll, and then added in a soft voice, "I want to breathe if it means I get to be with him, even if each breath rattles in my lungs. I want to breathe in this dark, loathsome world, because breathing means being with him."

He would have expected such words to come out of Marie, who wasn't the type to shy away from his emotions. He didn't expect such words to come from Yuu who avoided feelings like the plague.

Tiedoll felt the waterworks coming again. Here was his son who hated the world so much that he ran away. Ten years later, that same son was standing in front of him, still hating the world, but willing to brave it so he could stay with his beloved.

Tiedoll wasn't able to give him happiness. Alma was able to, if only for a short while. But Yuu didn't need to be given happiness—he needed to find it, and he found it on his own.

He didn't know Allen Walker well enough yet, but he decided that he liked him.

 

==

 

At Allen's insistence, Tiedoll stayed for dinner. He and Yuu prepared the food while Tiedoll examined more photos on the walls. There were so many ingredients on the table one would think they were making food for the whole town.

He was smiling at a photo booth picture of Allen and Yuu—Allen was making silly faces while his son scowled—when he felt a presence beside him.

He looked down and saw the golden retriever looking up at him. He bent down and scratched it behind its ears. "Tim, was it?"

He was answered with a bark and toothy canine smile.

"Tim, don't bother Mr Tiedoll too much," he heard Allen say.

"Oh, he's no bother at all," Tiedoll said. The dog lied on his back and presented his exposed belly to Tiedoll, which he rubbed with gusto. "Why, you're a demanding creature, aren't you?"

Tiedoll never did get to bring his easel to The Garden. After meeting Allen and reuniting with Yuu, there was simply no time to paint. But he could still sketch. He sketched Tim as he played with a tennis ball, and he sketched his son and Allen as they prepared food.

He didn't expect to meet his long-lost son today, or next week, or next month, or next year, or meet him again at all. He didn't expect to see him again, period. Yuu made it very clear that he didn't want to be found and that he didn't want to be followed. Tiedoll expected to find a nice view, paint it, go back to the inn, sleep, and leave the day after the next.

Truly, one should expect the unexpected. Tiedoll was thankful that he exercised, to some degree. He might have died of a heart attack the moment he heard his son's voice.

After half an hour, the table was set and dinner was ready. Tim followed Tiedoll to the dining table and sat on the floor to Allen's left, where the young man tossed the dog small chunks of meat.

"I'm sorry this was all we could prepare," Allen said. "To be honest, we didn't expect that you'd be here today, much less be here on your birthday."

Tiedoll glanced at the table. Every available surface was covered with plates and bowls of food. "You really didn't have to prepare all this."

Yuu snorted as he placed some pasta on his plate. "He didn't do this for you. He always eats a lot. You just happened to be here."

"Ha! Have you even greeted you father a happy birthday? You never mentioned his birthday to me," Allen said, placing even more food on his heaping plate.

"There was no need, dipshit."

"Stop cursing in front of your father."

Tiedoll laughed. He was reminded of the times when his sons would squabble. It mostly started with Daisya who loved riling Yuu up, and Marie served as the peacemaker. It was a daily occurrence in their household, one of the things that made him feel like they were a normal family. Mostly it was just Yuu going straight to his room after school or kendo practice.

"Yuu," Tiedoll said, and the pair's squabble over whose turn was it to the laundry halted. "Do you still have Mugen?"

Allen groaned and Yuu smirked. Tiedoll had an ominous feeling about it.

 

==

 

When Yuu turned 18— that was six months before he ran away from home—Tiedoll gave him an authentic katana that he named Mugen. He hoped that by giving him the sword, Yuu would realise how much he cared for him and open up to this family. But that wasn't how things turned out.

Tiedoll wished he could say that the past ten years didn't matter anymore. Those were ten years' worth of agony and uncertainty, wondering if his son was alive, if he was okay, if he was living comfortably. He wished that he could erase the pain those years brought and he couldn't, at least not that quickly. But as he watched his son hack away straw dummies with Mugen at their front yard, and as Tiedoll sat on the porch with his son's beloved by his side, he knew that forgiveness would come quick.

During the dinner conversation, he learned that Yuu went to the next city to purchase new breeds of seeds that he wanted to add to The Garden. He learned how he and Allen met ("Bean sprout fleeced me in poker and took a month's worth of wages." "My name is Allen, BaKanda!"), that Yuu was 19 and Allen was 16 when they first met ("Nobody would have thought he was 16. He looked 12." "I don't look _that_ young!"), that Yuu waited until Allen was 18 before he asked him out ("He's quite the romantic, isn't he? He was toting this sword around, unafraid of all the coppers, yet he was afraid of dating a jailbait."), and that Yuu picked gardening up as a hobby when he settled in the Cotswolds with Allen ("We couldn't tell anyone that the money we used to purchase the plots of land were the sprout's poker winnings." "It was my one last game before I retired from duping people in poker!"). He learned a lot of things about his son and the man that he grew up to be, and the other man that he shared his home with.

One day isn't enough to tell ten years' worth of story, but communication lines have been reopened and Tiedoll could talk to them anytime he wished. They had all the time in the world to exchange tales.

"Thank you, Allen," Tiedoll said, "for making him happy." A few feet up head, Yuu was sheathing his sword and walking towards them, Tim running on his heels. He had always been good with swords. That was how he let out all his pent-up rage.

Allen shook his head. "He's the one who makes me happy."

He recalled his son's words earlier. "You make each other happy."

Yuu reached the porch and plopped down beside Allen. Tim jumped onto Allen's lap and a red arm petted his head.

"He's sleepy," Allen said.

"No shit, Sherlock," was Yuu's reply.

"I was just making a statement. You don't need to be so rude all the time."

"What was I supposed to say? Would 'Thanks, Captain Obvious' have been better?"

"How about you don't say anything? Maybe I was just talking to myself."

Amidst the sound of their voices, Tiedoll realised that he needn't go in search of the most wonderful sight his eyes could feast upon. It was right there beside him—his son finally happy, and his source of happiness by his side.

 

==

 

The night was growing late and Yuu was accompanying Tiedoll back to Jerry's. The streets were empty save for a few stray animals, and the cool spring breeze blew past them,  making Tiedoll tug his coat tighter.

"You have a beautiful place. Did you plant all those greeneries by yourself?" Tiedoll asked, the wan light from the windows illuminating his face.

"I had help. I didn't need a landscape artist because Jerry and Lenalee proved capable enough. They did the garden and pond at the inn."

Tiedoll nodded. They might not be related by blood but it made him proud nonetheless to learn that one of his sons was artistically inclined. "How did you end up in the Cotswolds?"

"It was either here or Tuscany. We chose the Cotswolds because my Italian sucked." Ahead of them, a stray dog was resting under the lamplight, and it cracked its eyes open when the they passed by it. They paid it no mind and it closed its eyes.

"Ah, Tuscany. I long to go back there. The views are breathtaking and I want to paint them again."

"…We might go there next year."

"Hmm? What for?"

The dim light might have been playing tricks on Tiedoll's eyes, but he could swear he saw his son blush. He had never seen his grumpy son blush so much.

"I…" his son began, and he took a deep breath before continuing. "I have a ring. I want to ask him there. That's where we got together."

Tiedoll stopped in his tracks. Today had been a roller coaster of emotions and he wasn't sure if his poor heart could take it. His eyes were already stinging because of too much crying, yet the tears were flowing down again.

"Why are you crying?" his son hissed indignantly.

Tiedoll couldn't answer. His tears were cascading in torrents, all from his son's declaration and the fact that he was with his son again, that he was happy, and that he found someone who made him so happy that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He was getting tired of crying; he had already cried so much today.

When his tears were reduced to sobs, they resumed their walk to Jerry's, and after some minutes, Tiedoll said, "You were an angsty teenager who was always on the edge. I'm so thankful that you mellowed when you grew up. Allen clearly has good influence on you."

"The bean sprout can go to hell."

"And yet you'll follow him even if he went to the depths of hell."

Yuu's silence was answer enough.

When they were a few feet away from Jerry's, Yuu stopped. "This is as far as I go. I have no more energy left to deal with Lenalee."

Tiedoll was stricken with sadness. He spent the last ten years without one of his sons, and now that they were together again, he didn't want to be apart from him. But like his two other sons, Yuu had built a life of his own and he must let him live it.

"Call me when you leave. I'll accompany you to the station," Yuu said as he turned away. He threw him a glance over his shoulder and said quietly, "Happy birthday, old man."

Tiedoll smiled, and he stared at his son's retreating figure until he couldn't see it anymore.

Today was the best birthday he's ever had.

 

==

 

The morning of his departure, Tiedoll gave Jerry not a sketch but a painting of the inn's garden and mill pond. Jerry and Lenalee gushed over the painting and insisted that Tiedoll take payment, but he refused. He already got his payment in the form of his reunion with his son.

Yuu asked him not to tell anyone of their relation, at least not yet. Lenalee would surely tell her husband and Lavi is a blabbermouth, and in a matter of hours, the news that Yuu's foster father was staying at Jerry's would spread through the whole town, and none of them were ready to be bombarded with questions this soon.

At the train station, he gave Allen a stiff envelope that contained a sketch of him and his family. The painting that Tiedoll made of them hung in their bedroom, much to Yuu's embarrassment.

"I must really thank my colleague who recommended me Jerry's," Tiedoll said as they waited for his train. He and Allen sat on a bench while Yuu stood by the side. "Who knew that things would have taken the most fantastic of turns."

"Is that a colleague from the army?" Yuu asked.

"Yes," Tiedoll replied. He worked in the army for thirty odd years and knew how easy it would be to locate his missing son, but he didn't, because he didn't want Yuu to hate him any more than he did. Turns out, he never hated him, at least not directly. "I don't know how Marian learned of this place, but I'm glad that he did."

"Marian?" Allen said warily. "Strange. I know a Marian who works in the army."

"It wouldn't happen to be Cross Marian, would it?" Tiedoll said, and Allen laughed nervously.

"Oh? Do we know the same person?"

"Ah… Well… Um…" was Allen's answer.

"Long red hair, eyeglasses, always reeked of alcohol and cigarettes?" Yuu said.

"You know him? The both of you know him?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Allen said with a shudder. "He's my legal guardian."

And then it hit Tiedoll all at once, the absurdity of the situation making him laugh like a loony. His old colleague Cross Marian, who happened to be the legal guardian of son's lover, 'recommended' him this cottage in the Cotswolds. Tiedoll had no idea how Cross made the connection between him and his charge's lover, but he'll certainly accost him the next time he sees him. If he ever sees him.

"What a small world we live in," Tiedoll said when his laughter died down.

Allen hugged himself. "Why would Master tell you about this place? How did he know about you and Kanda? I never mentioned you to him. Seriously, my master is so creepy."

"You sure you didn't mention this old man to your master?" Yuu said.

"Why would I? It's not information that you tell everyone."

"And why do you call Marian you master, Allen?" Tiedoll asked. "Are you his apprentice or something?"

Allen shuddered once more and Yuu said, "He doesn’t like talking about it."

"Oh. Of course. I'm so sorry."

Allen shook his head. "No, no, Mr Tiedoll. It's just… he's a reprehensible human being and I hate the years I spent being apprenticed to him. But he certainly did a good deed bringing you and Kanda together again."

There was certainly more to what Allen said and the steely look in his eyes made Tiedoll curious, but there was no more time left; a horn signalling his train's arrival blared, and they can always have that conversation the next time they meet.

Allen stood up and offered a hand to Tiedoll. "I am pleased to have met you, sir."

Tiedoll ignored the hand and went for a hug instead. "The pleasure is mine. Thank you for taking care of my son all these years. Until the next time we meet again, Allen."

"See you again, Mr Tiedoll."

He released Allen and turned to Yuu, who backed away. "No hugs."

Tiedoll frowned. "But Yuu—"

"Come on, your train is boarding passengers," his son said as he lifted one of his luggage.

Tiedoll lifted the rest of his things and caught up with him. "You have my number. Call me anytime."

He grunted in response. Tiedoll liked to think that it was an affirmation.

"At least call me when Allen says yes to your question."

Yuu started. "There's no guarantee that he'll say yes."

"Of course he will. Oh, two of my three sons, already settled down! Daisya will not believe that you're getting married before him."

"Stop getting ahead of yourself!"

 

==

 

As the train sped back to France, Tiedoll sketched the blurring sceneries and thought of how to tell Marie and Daisya that their brother had been found. He couldn't think of the best way to say it, but he had an entire train ride back to another country to think.

He flipped his sketchpad to a new page and drew the moment that stood out the most to him during his England trip—that night when he was having dinner with Yuu and Allen and they were squabbling over laundry. It was a mundane moment and not noteworthy in the grand scheme of things, but to Tiedoll, it illustrated how his son found happiness in the monotony of everyday country life. It was his son's normal, and thinking about how Yuu spent his days with a person that made him want to live in this harsh world made him smile.

That smile morphed into uncontrollable snickers as he imagined his son asking Cross Marian for permission to ask his apprentice's hand in marriage.

The next few years of his life were certainly going to be interesting.

**Author's Note:**

> i hate verb tenses so much and it was challenging to write a fic where i mostly referred to kanda by his first name. i'm never doing that again :B
> 
> thank you for reading and please leave a comment if you can ;u;


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